Irony is the Shackles of Youth

How do porcupines mate? Very carefully.

I think the most horrifying thing about this article is the fact that male porcupines pee on female porcupines from up six feet away just to make them go into heat. And now you too have that lovely mental image.

Since I have today off (Columbus Day is a Federal holiday, strangely enough), I figured I'd post a article to inspire Halloween tales. It deals with vampires in America during the late 1800s, strangely enough.

The Great New England Vampire Panic.

I thought it interesting that this vampire hunt (and one that also occurred in the Chicago area both dealt with tuberculosis (called consumption at the time). Consumption was a very, very common disease during the Victorian era. So much so that there is a lot of speculation that the Victorian ideal beauty (thin, frail, fainting, pale, with shortness of breath to produce the infamous heaving bosom) is based on the symptoms of tuberculosis. The Smithsonian article even mentions that one of the characters that becomes a vampire in Bram Stoker's Dracula (published 1897) wastes away like a victim of tuberculosis.

I have to post this before it is changed (if it is). I was reading an article put out by the AP Press on an ancient whale jaw bone. Let me quote the following line, emphasis mine.

"A scientist not involved in the find said it could suggest that whales evolved much more quickly from their amphibian precursors than previously thought."

I believe the word you are looking for is amphibious not amphibian. Last I checked, whales were not descended from newts and frogs. :D

Yes, the zombies will try to eat your face - but they're law-abiding face-eaters.

This whole article is made of win.

Bees trap Wake Co. deputy in car for three hours.

I think my favorite part is "Jenkins said about six bees got in his patrol car. He dispatched a couple when 'they got too close to my personal space'." If bees swarmed my car, any bee that got inside would be too close to my personal space.

Giant Sperm Is Ancient Evolutionary Tool, Study Finds

Can you imagine a sperm that's 10 times the size of the animal that makes it? The average height of a human male is around 5ft 9in (175.8cm). Multiply that sucker by 10 and you get a 57ft 8in (17.58m) sperm.

Try to sleep at night with that mental image. ^_^

This... I have no words. It's a fish with a transparent head. It's eyes are inside the transparent head (they look like two green half-domes). What I originally thought was its eyes are actually its nostrils.

I can't stop looking at it. It's kind of fascinating and horrifying at the same time.

Researchers solve mystery of deep-sea fish with tubular eyes and transparent head

This is the only appropriate place to use the term "meat lance." Ever.

SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE WITH THIS PROPOSAL.

I was reading this article about Southern biscuits and rolls and how a lot of people are using pre-packaged rolls/biscuits instead of making them from scratch.

Now having lived in the North Carolina for several years and been around my family from that area, I can tell you one thing: bread is important. Most of the older generation will not serve a meal without bread. Usually this bread is in the form of biscuits (probably made with enough butter to give you a heart attack) or rolls, and to not serve some form of bread with the meal is anathema.

And if you serve them a meal without bread? It's doesn't happen. I have seen some of the older ladies and gentleman get sliced Wonderbread from a bag to serve at a table covered with very nice, very fancy food because there was no bread. Usually they try to be nice or gracious about it, like you've accidentally forgotten the bread and they don't want you to be embarrassed in front of others so they'll just get some for you and hope no one notices. Other times they'll just come out and ask why there's no bread with the meal.

What really got me laughing though, was this quote. It's gracious Southern passive-agressiveness at it's best.

“A part of the placidity of the South comes from the sense of well-being that follows the heart-and-body-warming consumption of breads fresh from the oven,” Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings wrote in “Cross Creek Cookery” in 1942. “We serve cold baker’s bread to our enemies, trusting that they will never impose on our hospitality again.”

And yes, I have in fact watched one of my Aunts do this to a boy who was dating my cousin that she didn't like. In her opinion, he wasn't good enough for her to waste time making biscuits for. Nevermind that the biscuits in question were the frozen bake and serve variety. But she would never say something about it to him or her daughter. That would be rude. Not that we couldn't all figure out what she thought of the guy from her actions.

Oh family...