Christmas music: WTF?
Thursday, December 6th, 2018 08:43 pmI went to Walgreen's today to pick up some diet cokes and, because it's after Thanksgiving, they are playing Christmas music.
Confession time: I do not like Christmas music. I use to love it. Then I worked in an office where the owner would put turn it to a station that would play non-stop Christmas music starting on Nov. 1st. Eight hours a day. Forty hours a week. Two months straight every year. The bulk of the music was the same 20-30 songs sung by different artists, with an occasional unusual song like Christmas in Sarajevo or the Grinch song. My crowning achievement was getting them to play the Hawaiian Christmas song just to listen to something different. How bad was it? When the owner switched it to a country station, I rejoiced, and I do not like country music.
Which is to say, as much as I would love to ignore Christmas music, I can't.
So imagine my surprise when I hear a Christmas song playing in the Walgreens that I don't recognize. The lyrics are hard to understand until it gets to the chorus. I freeze in the middle of Walgreens because I swear that it sounds like the woman over the speakers is singing about lusty Santa.
What. The. Fuck.
It takes me way, way too long to glean from the rest of the lyrics that the woman must be saying "Must be Santa." Not lusty Santa. Those were a few brain breaking moments that I wish had never occurred.
Confession time: I do not like Christmas music. I use to love it. Then I worked in an office where the owner would put turn it to a station that would play non-stop Christmas music starting on Nov. 1st. Eight hours a day. Forty hours a week. Two months straight every year. The bulk of the music was the same 20-30 songs sung by different artists, with an occasional unusual song like Christmas in Sarajevo or the Grinch song. My crowning achievement was getting them to play the Hawaiian Christmas song just to listen to something different. How bad was it? When the owner switched it to a country station, I rejoiced, and I do not like country music.
Which is to say, as much as I would love to ignore Christmas music, I can't.
So imagine my surprise when I hear a Christmas song playing in the Walgreens that I don't recognize. The lyrics are hard to understand until it gets to the chorus. I freeze in the middle of Walgreens because I swear that it sounds like the woman over the speakers is singing about lusty Santa.
What. The. Fuck.
It takes me way, way too long to glean from the rest of the lyrics that the woman must be saying "Must be Santa." Not lusty Santa. Those were a few brain breaking moments that I wish had never occurred.
