Penguin Yaoi
Sunday, July 1st, 2007 07:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tsaikoOkay, I have got to get some paperwork done and in the mail tomorrow. However, I had to share what I have of this because I just could not stop laughing while writing it.
People, please prevent me from naming this story "This Rock's for You." Please? Please? Oh god, I think I just accidentally named it.
Ira had found the perfect stone. It was smooth with no pits or sharp edges. Smooth stones were always better. The color was a pale, even grey like the small fish found in the ocean. Most importantly it was just the right size: big enough to be impressive, but small enough to be carried in his beak. Perfect.
"Hey, Ira. That's a mighty nice rock you have."
"It's my rock," Ira replied. It was currently sitting on his yellow feet, close so he could protect it. "You can't have it."
"Come on, Ira. Give a guy a break," Darre said as he scooted closer. Ira snapped at him with his beak. "It's not like Rory's even here yet. Think of all the trouble it will be to defend a nest before he even gets here. My mate has already shown up and a rock like that would really impress her so..."
"I don't care." Ira took another swipe with his beak. He was one of the bigger penguins, knew it, and didn't mind using it against smaller, obnoxious penguins like Darre. "Go find your own rock. This one is mine."
Darre hissed at him, but conceded. "Fine, fine. But you know someone's going to steal it before Rory gets here. It's only a matter of time."
That much was true. Too bad the rock wasn't meant for Rory. It was meant for Skete.
Confident that no one was going to take his nesting site – he'd already had to kick one young penguin out because he hadn't realized this site was already taken – Ira picked up his stone and began to move to the other side of the island. Various males collecting rocks called out to him as he walked by. Personally, Ira thought it was in the hopes that he would say something and drop his rock. Too bad. It was his.
Off to one side of the island was the place where all unattached females hung out. They did this for two reasons. First, no single female wanted to constantly be reminded she was single. It was depressing. Second, it made it easier to locate all the single females. All a penguin had to do was waddle over and find a mate of his choosing.
And the then rest of the males who actually had a clue could pick the poor idiot's nest clean of rocks by the time he got back with his new female friend.
Ira huffed at his own thoughts, but was careful not to drop the rock. Eventually he came to the place where the early arriving females congregated. Since he was the biggest in the colony, he was noticed immediately.
"Hi Ira. Rory late this year?" a young female named Nessa said. Ira put his rock down on his feet so he could reply.
"Rory is always late getting here."
"So thinking of finding a nice girl to keep you warm till he gets here?" Ira had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Nessa might think she was being subtle, but she wasn't.
"Actually, I was looking for Skete. Is she around?" Ira said in his most neutral voice. Nessa gave him a long, long look. Then she sighed all at once.
"I'll go get her for you. Stay here." Nessa turned around and headed towards the rest of the females. Excellent. The quieter he could keep this plan, the better. The young female took about three steps and then stopped.
"HEY SKETE. IRA WANTS TO SEE YOU. HE HAS A ROCK"
Absolutely silence. It seemed like every penguin in the colony turned to look at him and stare. Then the noise started up again, twice as loud as before, as penguins began to gossip and speculate. Everyone knew he was mated to Rory. Word of infidelity during the mating season spread faster than oil on water
"Thank you," Ira said dryly. He was wincing as he spoke.
"No problem," Nessa replied as she walked off.
Hell had no fury like a woman scorned. Ira was just adding this to his list of reasons why he preferred Rory to any female.'
Less than a minute later, Skete came walking through the crowd to meet him. He bowed his head in greeting. Surprised and flattered, Skete did the same. Ira took it as a good sign, picked up the rock from where it lay on his feet, and placed it deliberately at Skete's feet. The gossip level around them went up a notch.
Skete looked down and studied the rock. Then she looked up at Ira. "What is this?"
Ira quickly lost the battle with himself and gave a smartass answer. "It's a rock."
"I know it's a rock," Skete said. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why are you giving it to me? You have a mate. His name is Rory."
"I know." Ira sighed. He knew that this wouldn't be easy. "And for the last two years I have incubated a rock with him. I'm tired of my butt getting cold and not having anything to show for it at the end." Using his beak, Ira rolled the rock until it touched Skete's toes.
"And you want me to..."
"Females lay two eggs. I'll help you raise your chick if Rory and I can have the other egg."
Skete cocked her head to one side, studying him with one black eye. "And what does Rory think of this idea?"
Ira shook himself and then settled all his feathers back into place. "He doesn't know about it. If he knew about it, I wouldn't get any sex for this entire year. It's better if this is a surprise."
"A surprise. I'm sure he would love that."
"Two years, Skete. Two years. I'm desperate. Rory wants a chick and this is the only way I can give him one."
"I think this is a stupid idea." Despite her words, Skete accepted the rock. "But I'll go along with it."
Win.
People, please prevent me from naming this story "This Rock's for You." Please? Please? Oh god, I think I just accidentally named it.
Ira had found the perfect stone. It was smooth with no pits or sharp edges. Smooth stones were always better. The color was a pale, even grey like the small fish found in the ocean. Most importantly it was just the right size: big enough to be impressive, but small enough to be carried in his beak. Perfect.
"Hey, Ira. That's a mighty nice rock you have."
"It's my rock," Ira replied. It was currently sitting on his yellow feet, close so he could protect it. "You can't have it."
"Come on, Ira. Give a guy a break," Darre said as he scooted closer. Ira snapped at him with his beak. "It's not like Rory's even here yet. Think of all the trouble it will be to defend a nest before he even gets here. My mate has already shown up and a rock like that would really impress her so..."
"I don't care." Ira took another swipe with his beak. He was one of the bigger penguins, knew it, and didn't mind using it against smaller, obnoxious penguins like Darre. "Go find your own rock. This one is mine."
Darre hissed at him, but conceded. "Fine, fine. But you know someone's going to steal it before Rory gets here. It's only a matter of time."
That much was true. Too bad the rock wasn't meant for Rory. It was meant for Skete.
Confident that no one was going to take his nesting site – he'd already had to kick one young penguin out because he hadn't realized this site was already taken – Ira picked up his stone and began to move to the other side of the island. Various males collecting rocks called out to him as he walked by. Personally, Ira thought it was in the hopes that he would say something and drop his rock. Too bad. It was his.
Off to one side of the island was the place where all unattached females hung out. They did this for two reasons. First, no single female wanted to constantly be reminded she was single. It was depressing. Second, it made it easier to locate all the single females. All a penguin had to do was waddle over and find a mate of his choosing.
And the then rest of the males who actually had a clue could pick the poor idiot's nest clean of rocks by the time he got back with his new female friend.
Ira huffed at his own thoughts, but was careful not to drop the rock. Eventually he came to the place where the early arriving females congregated. Since he was the biggest in the colony, he was noticed immediately.
"Hi Ira. Rory late this year?" a young female named Nessa said. Ira put his rock down on his feet so he could reply.
"Rory is always late getting here."
"So thinking of finding a nice girl to keep you warm till he gets here?" Ira had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Nessa might think she was being subtle, but she wasn't.
"Actually, I was looking for Skete. Is she around?" Ira said in his most neutral voice. Nessa gave him a long, long look. Then she sighed all at once.
"I'll go get her for you. Stay here." Nessa turned around and headed towards the rest of the females. Excellent. The quieter he could keep this plan, the better. The young female took about three steps and then stopped.
"HEY SKETE. IRA WANTS TO SEE YOU. HE HAS A ROCK"
Absolutely silence. It seemed like every penguin in the colony turned to look at him and stare. Then the noise started up again, twice as loud as before, as penguins began to gossip and speculate. Everyone knew he was mated to Rory. Word of infidelity during the mating season spread faster than oil on water
"Thank you," Ira said dryly. He was wincing as he spoke.
"No problem," Nessa replied as she walked off.
Hell had no fury like a woman scorned. Ira was just adding this to his list of reasons why he preferred Rory to any female.'
Less than a minute later, Skete came walking through the crowd to meet him. He bowed his head in greeting. Surprised and flattered, Skete did the same. Ira took it as a good sign, picked up the rock from where it lay on his feet, and placed it deliberately at Skete's feet. The gossip level around them went up a notch.
Skete looked down and studied the rock. Then she looked up at Ira. "What is this?"
Ira quickly lost the battle with himself and gave a smartass answer. "It's a rock."
"I know it's a rock," Skete said. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why are you giving it to me? You have a mate. His name is Rory."
"I know." Ira sighed. He knew that this wouldn't be easy. "And for the last two years I have incubated a rock with him. I'm tired of my butt getting cold and not having anything to show for it at the end." Using his beak, Ira rolled the rock until it touched Skete's toes.
"And you want me to..."
"Females lay two eggs. I'll help you raise your chick if Rory and I can have the other egg."
Skete cocked her head to one side, studying him with one black eye. "And what does Rory think of this idea?"
Ira shook himself and then settled all his feathers back into place. "He doesn't know about it. If he knew about it, I wouldn't get any sex for this entire year. It's better if this is a surprise."
"A surprise. I'm sure he would love that."
"Two years, Skete. Two years. I'm desperate. Rory wants a chick and this is the only way I can give him one."
"I think this is a stupid idea." Despite her words, Skete accepted the rock. "But I'll go along with it."
Win.
(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 12:38 am (UTC)And yes, I think you've already found a name for it there, hee. ;D
(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 01:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 01:44 am (UTC)Also, the part where Nessa announces to the world that he had a rock for Skete? I die. Oh, I so die. XD
You FTW! *twirls you about*
(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 01:54 am (UTC)Yay, writing! Here's hoping the paladins will get some love, too. *hopeful* Or whatever. It's all good. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 02:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 03:13 am (UTC)This is so Awesome!
I can't wait to see some more of this!
You Rock!
I love it sooo much!
(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 04:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 10:09 am (UTC)Total change of subject
Date: 7/2/07 11:35 am (UTC)Kat
Re: Total change of subject
Date: 7/2/07 01:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 7/2/07 03:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/27/08 05:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 4/21/09 04:55 am (UTC)