Bitch, please.

[tsaiko]

Dear mind,

We've investigated this before. I've got at least a dozen websites outlining how much work it takes to get published. I've gone through at least four books on the same subject. I've read countless essays on the pros and cons. I have read everything from how to format a manuscript to how much I can reasonably expect from selling a novel for the first time. I've investigated everything from Lulu.com to e-zines to reading the requirements for most major publishers. I weighed all the pros and cons and decided it wasn't for me.

So why then are you trying to convince me that the best way to get the money I need for a new car is to write and get published a novel? Have you not listened to a thing I've read? The return on investment is not there. Why do I get the feeling you are not listening? Could it be because I am writing a cheesy, cheesy romance novel oh god, shoot me this is so bad and funny it hurts?

I don't know why I'm worried though. I never finish these things.

...

I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I? Crap.

No love,
Tsaiko

Comments

[skyknyt.livejournal.com]

Brains never listen to logic or reason.

skye

[moonwiggle.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is, I think there's probably more money to be made in writing cheesy romance or chick lit than there is to be writing a highbrow critically-acclaimed but mostly unread novel.

My brain keeps doing the same thing, only instead of a car it's the uni fees I will have coming up.

[moonwiggle.livejournal.com]

Highbrow's the stuff you read so that you can say to people you've read it. Everything else is actually fun to read. (And then there's the /fun/ highbrow, and that's just a whole new kettle.)

[itlandm.livejournal.com]

Cheesy romance novel is where the money is, at least in terms of money per hour. Of course, it is still not a very well paid job. Kinda like working at McDonalds, perhaps.

Lots of people want to be the French chefs of writing, but people want burgers. Cheesy novelburgers.

[eternalism.livejournal.com]

Ah, if only writing cheesy gay romance novels could get me decent money. I have so many ideas and scenarios in my head, just waiting to be written, that I could make millions!

Well, millions of pennies, anyway. Which, when you think about it, is still kind of a lot.

[ouri.livejournal.com]

I think everybody gets at least one idea for a cheesy romance novel.

Mine was a Regency, no less, and painfully predictable. (Luckily I was able to get away with just outlining, and didn't have to write the damned thing.)

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

One day, when we are both authors of our own cheesy romances, we will get together and write a romance novel together. It will sells millions of copies. Then we will be richer than J.K. Rowling.

The end.

Getting published is a pain. Half the times I don't know how people do it and the other half I remember that I have stunning examples of the fact that anything can get published if you send it to enough editors.

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

Woot! Of course, you'd have to pick a pen name. Something frilly to go with the cheese of the romance novels. I volunteer "Elenore de Cummings."

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

I have more than one idea. They can all be boiled down to the following:

Great beginning with sexual tension
(stuff happens here)
Dramatic ending with promise to love always!

I think I might have to work on the middle parts though. ^^;