I've spoken on this before
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 08:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tsaikoOne of the few things I dislike about the internet is havign to guess people's genders. The English language has three pronouns: he, she, and it. Since in my mind "it" is used for objects and is not appropriate for people, I'm stuck using "he" or "she."*
I don't use the gender other people call a person. I don't even use the gender that person might anatomically be in real life. I use the gender they refer to themselves by. If they want to be a "he" on the internet, then in my mind they are a "he." However until refers to them as "he" or "she", I have to mentally assign them a gender in my head.
I only hope that I'd be better at this if I knew these people IRL, because so far I am batting zero.
I've been wrong seven times. Seven! Statistically speaking I should be right at least half of the time since I only have two genders to pick from, but no. Murphy's Law of Statistics is alive and well.
It's really easy for me to change my gender associations for some people when I find out. I kind of go "Oops" and mentally remind myself to change pronouns. Other times it's like a battle with my brain. I assigned them to the wrong gender and now my subconcious refuses to admit that it was wrong. "No, they have to be male because I said so!"
ARGH.
There's one person I know through the internet (and so help me, if they ask I will die of embarrassment and I still don't know whether I will lie or tell the truth about it) that after nearly four years I still accidentally call them by the wrong gender when talking about them. I know what gender they are. I've had it confirmed by other people what gender they are. They do not refer to themselves by a pronoun and so my mind refuses to completely make the switch.
I even wish I suffered from the "Well if they're in fandom they must be female" syndrome. I don't. And I'd simply say "Oh hey, I think this person is male. They must be female!" except I did that once and wound up still being wrong. They were fucking male and my first instincts were correct for once.
This post brought to you by the fact that I was wrong about someone's gender again.
* Yes, I know about the "hir" and "se" pronouns but because of the context in which I was introduced to them, I think of them as a combination of the genders and not as gender neutral. They're hermaphraditic to me and I can't just use them unless the person is equal parts of both genders.
I don't use the gender other people call a person. I don't even use the gender that person might anatomically be in real life. I use the gender they refer to themselves by. If they want to be a "he" on the internet, then in my mind they are a "he." However until refers to them as "he" or "she", I have to mentally assign them a gender in my head.
I only hope that I'd be better at this if I knew these people IRL, because so far I am batting zero.
I've been wrong seven times. Seven! Statistically speaking I should be right at least half of the time since I only have two genders to pick from, but no. Murphy's Law of Statistics is alive and well.
It's really easy for me to change my gender associations for some people when I find out. I kind of go "Oops" and mentally remind myself to change pronouns. Other times it's like a battle with my brain. I assigned them to the wrong gender and now my subconcious refuses to admit that it was wrong. "No, they have to be male because I said so!"
ARGH.
There's one person I know through the internet (and so help me, if they ask I will die of embarrassment and I still don't know whether I will lie or tell the truth about it) that after nearly four years I still accidentally call them by the wrong gender when talking about them. I know what gender they are. I've had it confirmed by other people what gender they are. They do not refer to themselves by a pronoun and so my mind refuses to completely make the switch.
I even wish I suffered from the "Well if they're in fandom they must be female" syndrome. I don't. And I'd simply say "Oh hey, I think this person is male. They must be female!" except I did that once and wound up still being wrong. They were fucking male and my first instincts were correct for once.
This post brought to you by the fact that I was wrong about someone's gender again.
* Yes, I know about the "hir" and "se" pronouns but because of the context in which I was introduced to them, I think of them as a combination of the genders and not as gender neutral. They're hermaphraditic to me and I can't just use them unless the person is equal parts of both genders.
(no subject)
Date: 10/20/05 02:34 am (UTC)And for me, hir/se is for transgender people who aren't really one gender or the other - intersex, almost. That may not be correct, but that's how my mind associates those pronouns.
(no subject)
Date: 10/20/05 11:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/20/05 08:58 pm (UTC)And now I feel like a letdown. *sighs* I'll go commit seppuku in my other eye now...
(no subject)
Date: 10/20/05 11:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/05 01:30 am (UTC)Dangit...how do I always end up inside of a Grandfather paradox?!
(no subject)
Date: 10/21/05 01:31 am (UTC)And violated at least one law of temporal mechanics to boot! Woot!