Fairytale rewrite: The Golden Bird
Sunday, October 9th, 2005 05:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tsaikoStarted on this last week to keep the SMP story from driving me nuts. Wanted peoples' opinions before I got much farther. This story is doing a weird blend of sterotypical fairytale story style and my own unique style. I don't know how well that's working. It will eventually be yaoi.
First sons were born to carry on the family name. Second sons were insurance, usually going to a monastery unless the first son died and the second son was yanked out to take his place. Third sons wound up going to the military, where they either became knights and captured lands of their own or died neatly taking care of the problem of what to do with an unneeded muddier of the royal line.
Price was a third son, and since he was not given to the martial arts, he was an unneeded muddier of the royal line.
Noble was the first son, the most important son, and he knew it. Thane was the second son who resided at a nearby monastery that their father had paid for. He was interested in piety or learning, but had a head for finances and money. Their father was known to whisper that if Noble ever died, at least Thane would see that the family's lands prospered.
And people wondered why Price wasn't as fond of his family as everyone seemed to think he should be.
Price's father, a minor lord, was famous for one thing. In the back of his country estate there was a garden. In the garden grew a small grove of trees with yellow leaves and yellow-white bark. On the trees grew apple that shone like gold and were sweeter than honey to the tongue. Each year all the apples in the tree were gathered up and pressed into finest cider. So rare and delicious was the drink that it was served only at the court of the King.
The apples in the garden were both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, they brought renown and money to the lands. On the other hand, the apples were too few to make more than a few gallons of the drink. Those few gallons brought in money, but not enough for Price's father. He wanted more. The problem was no one had ever been able to get more trees to grow. In fact, records showed that at one time there were more trees and over the years a few had died with no way to replace them.
Because of this every apple was sacred. Members of the Lord's house took turns watching over the apples as they ripened lest even one fall to the ground and spoil. Sometimes the Lord would go out and count the apples dozens of times to assure himself that they were all still there.
Therefore, when one of the apples disappeared, the house was in chaos.
"There's an apple missing from the orchard!" Price sat upright in bed as the words were bellowed through the house. "Who took the apple? Who was on duty last night? Everyone up! Everyone!"
Price quickly got dressed, pulling on mismatched clothes in his haste to get ready. By the time he got to the main hall, most of the house had already assembled. His father's face was almost purple with rage. The two servants who had been watching the trees cowered before him.
"What happened?" he snarled.
"I'm sorry, my Lord," the elder servant said. He prostrated himself before the Lord. "We fell asleep and when we woke, an apple was gone. We counted and counted hoping that it was just our imagination. But it's gone. It's gone."
"Fools." Price's father drew himself up to his full height. "Of course I should expect nothing less from servants. Noble!" From the back of the crowd, the Lord's eldest son stepped forward looking regal despite the haste in which he had to have dressed. "Tonight I want you to watch the apples. Make sure not a single one is gone by dawn."
"I will," Noble said. He executed a perfect courtly bow. Price resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"Good. I knew I could count on family." Then their father turned and left the room. Noble would figure out what was going on and be the best son once more.
Or so Price thought.
***
"What do you mean an apple is missing?"
Why yes, I did deliberately cut it off where I did. My unique sense of humor made me do it.
First sons were born to carry on the family name. Second sons were insurance, usually going to a monastery unless the first son died and the second son was yanked out to take his place. Third sons wound up going to the military, where they either became knights and captured lands of their own or died neatly taking care of the problem of what to do with an unneeded muddier of the royal line.
Price was a third son, and since he was not given to the martial arts, he was an unneeded muddier of the royal line.
Noble was the first son, the most important son, and he knew it. Thane was the second son who resided at a nearby monastery that their father had paid for. He was interested in piety or learning, but had a head for finances and money. Their father was known to whisper that if Noble ever died, at least Thane would see that the family's lands prospered.
And people wondered why Price wasn't as fond of his family as everyone seemed to think he should be.
Price's father, a minor lord, was famous for one thing. In the back of his country estate there was a garden. In the garden grew a small grove of trees with yellow leaves and yellow-white bark. On the trees grew apple that shone like gold and were sweeter than honey to the tongue. Each year all the apples in the tree were gathered up and pressed into finest cider. So rare and delicious was the drink that it was served only at the court of the King.
The apples in the garden were both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, they brought renown and money to the lands. On the other hand, the apples were too few to make more than a few gallons of the drink. Those few gallons brought in money, but not enough for Price's father. He wanted more. The problem was no one had ever been able to get more trees to grow. In fact, records showed that at one time there were more trees and over the years a few had died with no way to replace them.
Because of this every apple was sacred. Members of the Lord's house took turns watching over the apples as they ripened lest even one fall to the ground and spoil. Sometimes the Lord would go out and count the apples dozens of times to assure himself that they were all still there.
Therefore, when one of the apples disappeared, the house was in chaos.
"There's an apple missing from the orchard!" Price sat upright in bed as the words were bellowed through the house. "Who took the apple? Who was on duty last night? Everyone up! Everyone!"
Price quickly got dressed, pulling on mismatched clothes in his haste to get ready. By the time he got to the main hall, most of the house had already assembled. His father's face was almost purple with rage. The two servants who had been watching the trees cowered before him.
"What happened?" he snarled.
"I'm sorry, my Lord," the elder servant said. He prostrated himself before the Lord. "We fell asleep and when we woke, an apple was gone. We counted and counted hoping that it was just our imagination. But it's gone. It's gone."
"Fools." Price's father drew himself up to his full height. "Of course I should expect nothing less from servants. Noble!" From the back of the crowd, the Lord's eldest son stepped forward looking regal despite the haste in which he had to have dressed. "Tonight I want you to watch the apples. Make sure not a single one is gone by dawn."
"I will," Noble said. He executed a perfect courtly bow. Price resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"Good. I knew I could count on family." Then their father turned and left the room. Noble would figure out what was going on and be the best son once more.
Or so Price thought.
***
"What do you mean an apple is missing?"
Why yes, I did deliberately cut it off where I did. My unique sense of humor made me do it.
(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:37 pm (UTC)Old man: Your piety and sacrifice has made us rich! I will take care of you.
Girl: Waaaah, no, I'll go be a whiny brat by myself! Waaaah!
King: What up, bitch?
Girl: Waaaaaah, EVERYONE HAS FORSAKEN ME!!! WAAAH!
Old man: ....
Girl: Waaaaaaaah! I HAVE NO HANDS! Now I have creepy metal hands! Yay!
King: But you were the CHOSEN ONE!
Girl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
...Okay, so I made up the last bit, but...And who the fuck names their kid Sorrowful!?
(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:52 pm (UTC)Can you imagine if the main character in a fairytale was named Bob?
"Soon Prince Bob will save me!"
(no subject)
Date: 10/9/05 09:53 pm (UTC)...Fairytales AND gay smut?! I'M SO THERE!
Date: 10/9/05 09:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/10/05 02:43 am (UTC)speaking of...
Date: 10/10/05 03:01 am (UTC)Re: speaking of...
Date: 10/10/05 10:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/10/05 03:52 am (UTC)I would like to see more. ^___^
(no subject)
Date: 10/10/05 04:32 am (UTC)You are aware of your evilness, are you not?
Love your writing style, hope to see more!
(no subject)
Date: 10/10/05 10:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/26/05 09:58 pm (UTC)Okay, so I'm a couple weeks late on this. ^_^;; Still, this is spectacular. *hearts* Poor Price. I love how you establish how things are in the family right away and I like that Price completely understands how the system works, even if the system is screwing him over in the process.
I like too, how the counting of the apples seems like a normal trait for Price's father...you get the idea early on with the way he treats his sons that he really would be neurotic enough to go out and count apples to make sure that no one was poaching his wealth. ;3
More please!! *huge puppy eyes* ;_______________________;