Original fic, still no title
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008 04:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tsaikoSame characters as found in here. Because dammit, if I'm going to be in a crappy mood due to my body being contrary, someone else is too. Still have no idea what to call this thing.
For the first time in years, Luke felt he could relax.
He and Isaac had signed a lease for their own place almost a month ago. They’d finally moved out of Melissa and Jonar’s apartment three weeks ago. Then there was the two solid days of moving crap, buying crap, and arranging crap. Slowly, the place was beginning to be theirs. It was a novel experience.
Luke had worried when Isaac had insisted on getting a two bedroom apartment that his cousin would insist that they have separate rooms. They’d been sharing a bed consistently for over a year and a half. Luke didn’t think Isaac would press the issue. But he could. After three weeks of sleeping in the same bed without so much as a passing mention of the other bedroom and that worry had eased.
Things were beginning to settle down. There was structure and routine and Isaac.
Even the fact that Zavier was there every Friday and Saturday night, sometimes even spending the night on the couch, didn’t bother him that much. Luke still found the other dragon to be… something, but it didn’t make him quite as defensive as it had in High School. There were even times when he found Zavier to fun to be around.
All and all, life was going great.
Which of course was exactly when his dragon instincts had to turn it upside down.
***
Early morning light filtered through the windows. Luke opened an eye and looked at the clock. It was ten minutes before the alarm was set to go off. He spent five minutes debating whether or not to try to go back to sleep before Luke realized it wasn’t going to happen. Better to go ahead and turn the alarm off before it woke Isaac as well.
Luke rolled over, hit the button, and then rolled back towards Isaac. Isaac was still asleep. With a sigh, Luke leaned over, pressed his nose into the crook of Isaac’s neck, and breathed in.
This was the only time he’d let himself do this. Luke had made a promise to himself long ago that he wouldn’t push Isaac for more intimacy than he was willing to give. Never mind that they had already gone all the way before they’d moved away from their families. That was different. That was need and desperation and having no one else. Now that things were different, Luke was no going to press Isaac on this issue. No matter how much he wanted to.
Sometimes it was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. Especially when Isaac seemed to be doing everything possible to get into Zavier’s pants. There were times when Luke thought it was vastly unfair of that his self-sacrifice was going unnoticed. He deserved a medal for not jumping Isaac every time he dropped something.
But in the early morning, when Isaac was still asleep, Luke allowed himself to give in. Just a little. Sometimes he’d brush the hair out of Isaac’s face or lets his fingers rest against too warm skin. Most often though, he’d just press his nose against Isaac’s skin and breathe in his scent. Isaac smelled like sleep and sweat and cotton. He smelled like comfort, like hugs, like coming into a warm place after the bitter cold, like feeling welcome, like home.
Luke wanted him so bad he could practically taste it. He pulled back before he could act on any of his impulses. Like the one that called for him to scrape his teeth against the back of Isaac’s neck, to hold him down on the bed and…
The growl that came from his throat was low and unintentional. Luke quickly cut it off. What was wrong with him? Usually touching and scenting Isaac in the morning calmed him, smoothing all the worries he had and clearing his mind. Not today. Instead he felt keyed up and out of sorts.
This was why Luke hated his dragon instincts. Every time he thought he’d figured them out, something happened to screw them up. He never knew how to act or when things would change. It was annoying.
He grabbed clean clothes that had been folded and left in the laundry basket, and headed towards the bathroom. First thing on his list was a shower. Luke turned the water as hot as he could stand it, ignoring the way it made the pipes bang. Then he stripped off his boxers and stepped into the shower. His mind went mercifully blank as Luke tipped his head into the spray.
After his shower, Luke started to get dressed only to realize he’d forgotten to grab underwear. Luke wrapped a towel around his waist and turned to light to the bathroom off. He didn’t want wake Isaac if he wasn’t already awake.
Two steps into the room and Luke froze. Isaac had pushed to cover down at some point, until the smooth expanse of his back was exposed. Luke couldn’t stop looking. All the earlier instincts came crashing down. He must have made some sort of noise, because Isaac looked at him over his shoulder.
“Luke?”
“Yeah?” His voice sounded strained even to his ears. Sheer stubbornness was the only thing keeping him from going over to the bed and tracing the slight ridge of Isaac’s spine with his tongue.
“Is everything okay?” Isaac rolled over and sat up. The covers pooled around his waist. Luke couldn’t stop looking at Isaac chest, at his nipples, at the thin line of hair that ran down into the front of Isaac’s boxers. He took a step back, because if he didn’t move backwards he was going to move forwards. “You look kind of freaked out.”
“Everything’s fine.” Lies and damn lies. “I just… I have to go.”
“Wait, Luke!” Luke stumbled, instincts telling him to listen to what Isaac was saying. To obey. He gritted his teeth and pushed through it. Leaving the apartment was out of the question because he wasn’t even dressed. The bathroom had a lock though.
The inside of the bathroom was still damp with steam, even with the fan going. Luke shut the door behind him and fumbled with the lock. He could hear Isaac running down the hall. The sound of Isaac’s footsteps sounded like thunder.
“Luke? What in the hell…” The door shook as Isaac tried to open it. “Luke open the door.” His hand was halfway to the doorknob before Luke realized it. He jerked it back and moved away from the door to sit on the toilet. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” Luke snapped. He was shaking. “Something’s wrong and I don’t know what.”
“Okay, okay. Calm down. Are you hurt?” Isaac asked. His voice was oddly muffled through the door. Luke shook his head and then realized that Isaac wouldn’t be able to see him.
“I’m not hurt. I just… everything seems off. I can’t seem to control myself.” He hated that. Everything seemed to be beyond his control and there was nothing Luke could do about it. How did dragons manage to live like this?
“Off how? Come on, Luke, either let me in or talk to me. I’m worried.” Isaac really was worried. Luke could hear it in his voice. He licked lips and tried to explain without using the words ‘I want to push you down on the bed and have sex with you.’
“It’s too warm. Everything is too much.” As soon as he said the words, Luke realized they were true. It was too warm and everything seemed to grate against his senses twice as much as it normally would. “I keep wanting to do things I wouldn’t normally do. It’s the dragon part, but normally I can ignore it and I can’t now. It’s overwhelming.” Luke made a distressed sound. He’d heard about dragons losing it, temporarily letting instincts overcome all rational thought, but this was the closest he’d come to it himself.
“And why did you lock yourself in the bathroom?” Luke nearly snarled. For someone who was so smart, Isaac could be incredibly stupid sometimes.
“Because I can’t control myself. Now leave me alone.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Open the door, Luke.” Isaac hit the door with his fist for emphasis.
“I’m not opening the door,” Luke shouted back. Anger was good. Getting angry helped counteract the desperate need to make Isaac happy. To touch Isaac. To taste him. To make him make little sounds of need. Luke dug his fingers into his palm and tried not to think about it. “You can’t make me.”
“You won’t hurt me.” Isaac’s voice had gone soft, almost coaxing. It sent shivers down Luke’s spine. “I know you Luke. I trust you. More than anything. Let me in.”
It was the hardest thing in the world that Luke had ever done to stay where he was and not open the door. He couldn’t trust himself. He couldn’t trust. The only thing that kept him from moving was the thought that he might scare or hurt or drive Isaac away if he gave into his instincts. “Bite me.”
“You are the most stubborn asshole I know!” Isaac shouted. “Open the damn door.”
“Fuck you!”
“Fine!” Isaac shouted. “If you’re going to be that way… just fine. I’m going to talk to someone who can help.”
“Fine.” Luke listened to the sound of Isaac’s retreating footsteps. Then he curled up into himself and whined. He was burning hot and shivering at the same time. He wanted to move but there was no where to move too. Above all else, the idea that he’d made Isaac mad put a knot of burning misery in his stomach.
Nothing made sense. Nothing was under his control. What was going on?
You know, the entire time I was writing this all I could think was "Well, at least Luke didn't lock himself in a closet." LOL, the irony.
For the first time in years, Luke felt he could relax.
He and Isaac had signed a lease for their own place almost a month ago. They’d finally moved out of Melissa and Jonar’s apartment three weeks ago. Then there was the two solid days of moving crap, buying crap, and arranging crap. Slowly, the place was beginning to be theirs. It was a novel experience.
Luke had worried when Isaac had insisted on getting a two bedroom apartment that his cousin would insist that they have separate rooms. They’d been sharing a bed consistently for over a year and a half. Luke didn’t think Isaac would press the issue. But he could. After three weeks of sleeping in the same bed without so much as a passing mention of the other bedroom and that worry had eased.
Things were beginning to settle down. There was structure and routine and Isaac.
Even the fact that Zavier was there every Friday and Saturday night, sometimes even spending the night on the couch, didn’t bother him that much. Luke still found the other dragon to be… something, but it didn’t make him quite as defensive as it had in High School. There were even times when he found Zavier to fun to be around.
All and all, life was going great.
Which of course was exactly when his dragon instincts had to turn it upside down.
***
Early morning light filtered through the windows. Luke opened an eye and looked at the clock. It was ten minutes before the alarm was set to go off. He spent five minutes debating whether or not to try to go back to sleep before Luke realized it wasn’t going to happen. Better to go ahead and turn the alarm off before it woke Isaac as well.
Luke rolled over, hit the button, and then rolled back towards Isaac. Isaac was still asleep. With a sigh, Luke leaned over, pressed his nose into the crook of Isaac’s neck, and breathed in.
This was the only time he’d let himself do this. Luke had made a promise to himself long ago that he wouldn’t push Isaac for more intimacy than he was willing to give. Never mind that they had already gone all the way before they’d moved away from their families. That was different. That was need and desperation and having no one else. Now that things were different, Luke was no going to press Isaac on this issue. No matter how much he wanted to.
Sometimes it was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. Especially when Isaac seemed to be doing everything possible to get into Zavier’s pants. There were times when Luke thought it was vastly unfair of that his self-sacrifice was going unnoticed. He deserved a medal for not jumping Isaac every time he dropped something.
But in the early morning, when Isaac was still asleep, Luke allowed himself to give in. Just a little. Sometimes he’d brush the hair out of Isaac’s face or lets his fingers rest against too warm skin. Most often though, he’d just press his nose against Isaac’s skin and breathe in his scent. Isaac smelled like sleep and sweat and cotton. He smelled like comfort, like hugs, like coming into a warm place after the bitter cold, like feeling welcome, like home.
Luke wanted him so bad he could practically taste it. He pulled back before he could act on any of his impulses. Like the one that called for him to scrape his teeth against the back of Isaac’s neck, to hold him down on the bed and…
The growl that came from his throat was low and unintentional. Luke quickly cut it off. What was wrong with him? Usually touching and scenting Isaac in the morning calmed him, smoothing all the worries he had and clearing his mind. Not today. Instead he felt keyed up and out of sorts.
This was why Luke hated his dragon instincts. Every time he thought he’d figured them out, something happened to screw them up. He never knew how to act or when things would change. It was annoying.
He grabbed clean clothes that had been folded and left in the laundry basket, and headed towards the bathroom. First thing on his list was a shower. Luke turned the water as hot as he could stand it, ignoring the way it made the pipes bang. Then he stripped off his boxers and stepped into the shower. His mind went mercifully blank as Luke tipped his head into the spray.
After his shower, Luke started to get dressed only to realize he’d forgotten to grab underwear. Luke wrapped a towel around his waist and turned to light to the bathroom off. He didn’t want wake Isaac if he wasn’t already awake.
Two steps into the room and Luke froze. Isaac had pushed to cover down at some point, until the smooth expanse of his back was exposed. Luke couldn’t stop looking. All the earlier instincts came crashing down. He must have made some sort of noise, because Isaac looked at him over his shoulder.
“Luke?”
“Yeah?” His voice sounded strained even to his ears. Sheer stubbornness was the only thing keeping him from going over to the bed and tracing the slight ridge of Isaac’s spine with his tongue.
“Is everything okay?” Isaac rolled over and sat up. The covers pooled around his waist. Luke couldn’t stop looking at Isaac chest, at his nipples, at the thin line of hair that ran down into the front of Isaac’s boxers. He took a step back, because if he didn’t move backwards he was going to move forwards. “You look kind of freaked out.”
“Everything’s fine.” Lies and damn lies. “I just… I have to go.”
“Wait, Luke!” Luke stumbled, instincts telling him to listen to what Isaac was saying. To obey. He gritted his teeth and pushed through it. Leaving the apartment was out of the question because he wasn’t even dressed. The bathroom had a lock though.
The inside of the bathroom was still damp with steam, even with the fan going. Luke shut the door behind him and fumbled with the lock. He could hear Isaac running down the hall. The sound of Isaac’s footsteps sounded like thunder.
“Luke? What in the hell…” The door shook as Isaac tried to open it. “Luke open the door.” His hand was halfway to the doorknob before Luke realized it. He jerked it back and moved away from the door to sit on the toilet. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” Luke snapped. He was shaking. “Something’s wrong and I don’t know what.”
“Okay, okay. Calm down. Are you hurt?” Isaac asked. His voice was oddly muffled through the door. Luke shook his head and then realized that Isaac wouldn’t be able to see him.
“I’m not hurt. I just… everything seems off. I can’t seem to control myself.” He hated that. Everything seemed to be beyond his control and there was nothing Luke could do about it. How did dragons manage to live like this?
“Off how? Come on, Luke, either let me in or talk to me. I’m worried.” Isaac really was worried. Luke could hear it in his voice. He licked lips and tried to explain without using the words ‘I want to push you down on the bed and have sex with you.’
“It’s too warm. Everything is too much.” As soon as he said the words, Luke realized they were true. It was too warm and everything seemed to grate against his senses twice as much as it normally would. “I keep wanting to do things I wouldn’t normally do. It’s the dragon part, but normally I can ignore it and I can’t now. It’s overwhelming.” Luke made a distressed sound. He’d heard about dragons losing it, temporarily letting instincts overcome all rational thought, but this was the closest he’d come to it himself.
“And why did you lock yourself in the bathroom?” Luke nearly snarled. For someone who was so smart, Isaac could be incredibly stupid sometimes.
“Because I can’t control myself. Now leave me alone.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Open the door, Luke.” Isaac hit the door with his fist for emphasis.
“I’m not opening the door,” Luke shouted back. Anger was good. Getting angry helped counteract the desperate need to make Isaac happy. To touch Isaac. To taste him. To make him make little sounds of need. Luke dug his fingers into his palm and tried not to think about it. “You can’t make me.”
“You won’t hurt me.” Isaac’s voice had gone soft, almost coaxing. It sent shivers down Luke’s spine. “I know you Luke. I trust you. More than anything. Let me in.”
It was the hardest thing in the world that Luke had ever done to stay where he was and not open the door. He couldn’t trust himself. He couldn’t trust. The only thing that kept him from moving was the thought that he might scare or hurt or drive Isaac away if he gave into his instincts. “Bite me.”
“You are the most stubborn asshole I know!” Isaac shouted. “Open the damn door.”
“Fuck you!”
“Fine!” Isaac shouted. “If you’re going to be that way… just fine. I’m going to talk to someone who can help.”
“Fine.” Luke listened to the sound of Isaac’s retreating footsteps. Then he curled up into himself and whined. He was burning hot and shivering at the same time. He wanted to move but there was no where to move too. Above all else, the idea that he’d made Isaac mad put a knot of burning misery in his stomach.
Nothing made sense. Nothing was under his control. What was going on?
You know, the entire time I was writing this all I could think was "Well, at least Luke didn't lock himself in a closet." LOL, the irony.
