Niggling feelings of humor

[tsaiko]

I was in bed when it happened, which is the worse. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't mentally work on stories. I couldn't even think about what I was going to do the next day. All I could think was that there was something important that I'd seen during the previous 24 hours that I was missing the significance of.

Was it in the bathroom? No. I'd done everything I normally did in there. I hadn't forgotten to spray the shower after showering with shower spray because I'm lazy and don't want to have to clean it. I'd brushed my teeth. I'd put on deodorant. I hadn't left the sink on. That wasn't it.

Living room? Computer was turned off. I'd taken the empty glasses and put them in the sink. Plants were watered. Patio door was closed. Every thing fine there.

Bedroom? Well my bedroom was currently being eaten up by clothing and a craft project. Paint had been resealed. Brushes cleaned. Dirty clothes in the dirty clothes pile. miome's bedroom was fine. Blankets on the air mattress. Fan on for the night.

Kitchen? Now that seemed familiar. Dishes were in the sink. Counters had been wiped. Cold foods were back in the fridge. What could I possibly be missing?

Then it hit me, like a lightning bolt out of the blue. When I was making dinner, I'd noticed the big jar of spaghetti sauce sitting in the cabinet. The problem? I'd opened that jar two weeks ago to make spaghetti. That jar wasn't supposed to be in the cabinet. It was supposed to be in the fridge!

So at 11:48pm, I go flying out of my nice warm bed and run full speed into the kitchen, like the 20 seconds it takes me to get in there is going to make any difference when that jar of spaghetti sauce has been sitting in the cabinet unrefrigerated for two weeks. I turn on the lights, throw open the cabinet, and reach for the jar.

Alas, I am too late. My large jar of extra chunky mushroom Ragu sauce has been turned into a science project. Mold covers the top in white and gray-green blooms. Heart broken (and out the $3.47 that jar cost me) I throw it into the garbage bag. You left this world too soon, my friend.

Now don't you wish your life was this exciting?